Well I made it to the finish line

So I just got home from the trail run. Can I start by saying I was waaaayyy underprepared for the event. I knew going into the race that it was the National Trails Association National Championship so I figured it would be a challenge. Yeah challenge is putting it mildly. The run started out with a quick mile descent into a mile and a half steady uphill climb! Then hell came to earth or so I thought. The first Big hill, as if the others were just child’s play, was in front of me. The “hill” was an upward climb to the heavens at a small 27% grade which got the best of my legs! My calves were burning and my quads were feeling the same. This was the first time I said to myself “Carrie what was your fat self thinking??” And then I thought well hell everyone else that signed up must be superman because they were long gone. Once the hill was conquered the second lap began, but it was a different direction completely. This lap was flowing and rolling which allowed my legs to stretch some. At that point it was a downward stretch followed by, surprise, more climbing. Mile 4 started out great with a nice flowing trail and that really lasted till mile 5, then HELL began. So at this point I was ready to throw in the towel. When you are at the bottom of the mountain the only place to go is up! So I began to “wog” (walk-jog) for a little bit and then comes the rock climb. Yes, straight up the side of the mountain hands and feet were both needed! At this point I had tears in my eyes I was pissed off at the mountain and pissed at myself for letting it get the best of me. I had to finish with a 1/4 mile 29% grade! The last .2 tenths of the mile were spent wondering if there was anyone left at the start/finish line! There was and once I took those steps over that white line every internal struggle I had during the 6.2 miles was gone! All that was left was satisfaction. So I did it! I wasn’t pretty or fast but I conquered (well loosely) a beast of a run! Embarassing fact about today’s race is I puked afterward, well after drinking the red Gatorade! Yep I was that person, but thank goodness it happened without a crowd! 🙂 such is life I guess!
My legs are tender as I assumed they would be and I am sure tomorrow I will be sure that someone beat me but I did it. If you were to ask me if I would go through hell again, the answer is YES absolutely! I love trail running and until now the trails have been mediocre! Now it is time to recover and continue training for the half I have in 4 weeks!

Find something you are passionate about and do it! I promise you will rarely be disappointed!

Well I did it!

First off let me start by saying I passed my dreaded dosage calculation test today with a 98! One more of those beasts and there shalt be No more! I have not posted in a few days, school has started back and life has gotten crazy! Next week the kids start back so it will be interesting finding the routine balance. My youngest starts big school this year and I find myself getting a bit emotional when I start to think about it. Where does the time go?!?!

On to running! I have not lost my goal I have set. I have been quietly eating cleaner and running. This weekend I am doing the Eastern Continental Divide trail 10k. I am nervous but excited! I am not fast and I know I am really not completing but my goal is to finish. Right now my 6 mile time is 1:14 and some change. I am sure baby turtles move faster than me but I keep moving forward. The splits equal around 12 minute mile so I am happy with that. Once I finish this race I have a team mud run to do the second weekend in September, it should be fun and challenging! Now here comes my big announcement! I am doing a half! I decided I wanted to do one that wasn’t super competitive, so I am doing the women’s running half in Nashville the last weekend in September. It is a slow pace minimum, 18:00 mile is what you have to maintain and I think I can totally do that! Then comes the insane terrain 5k with my oldest in October and then I am running another half with a friend the first weekend in November! I am super excited, all these races will keep me strutting to my goal! I just finished my run today and my biggest hurdle is stretching! My hamstrings are tight enough for one to possibly be able to play a song or two on them! I also need to work only ankle and hip flexibility!

So my final thoughts to ponder for the day: I often wonder why we are afraid or scared of the unknown. Not all unknowns lead you down a path of darkness, actually right the opposite may happen and you end up in a beautiful mess! Harness life and hold on tight and enjoy the adventure called life!

Everything you want is on the other side of your fear

What is beautiful?

Yesterday I took the day off from blogging and pretty much every aspect of life to focus on my children. With that said a little warning about this post: The majority of this post will deviate from running, but first let me brag on my shoes. I love my pearls, they are simply amazing! The sole is firm and not forgiving, yet still well cushioned. My lower legs did not hurt after running, and I am only really sore in my hips and upper quads today which, to me, is totally expected. My pearls are not exactly the most stylish shoes, but it seems like the better the shoe the more hideous they become!

Now on to what is on my mind today…beauty! Who determines what beauty is? Is beauty physical, is it mental or is beauty personality? The old saying goes

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

and this is true. I think beauty changes throughout our life, or at least what we consider beautiful. As a younger individual I often associated beauty with physical attributes, and pretty much eliminated any other factors in my thoughts of true beauty. I reflect back about it now and realize that physical beauty is transient. I don’t feel we necessarily get ugly as we mature, but rather we have a deeper desire to find beauty in people and their story, their passions, and most important their intelligence. Beauty to me is intelligence, I long for stimulation of my mind, to do this makes anyone immediately more beautiful. I would be lying if I said looks didn’t matter, but having a beautiful mind immediately intensifies looks. Why am I rambling? I feel like often times people are judged solely on looks and people enter superficial relationships that often end due to unfulfilled desires or stimulation, and lead to spark less or soul less marriages. The physical beauty often leads to expectation that the body will always look the same, this is a false pretense that can lead to an unfulfilled life. For me people fall “in love” with their eyes and never close their eyes and often forget to listen to their souls and what makes their soul happy. I believe beauty, especially physical beauty, is often confused with perfection. This is far from the truth, when you care deeply for someone and desire them, you love them despite their flaws (physical, emotional scars, or character flaws), to you they are perfect. So what is beauty ? Is beauty a six pack and beautiful straight teeth? Is beauty a few extra pounds that excites your soul? Is beauty a mother with stretch marks? Is beauty physical scars? Is beauty a broken heart? Beauty encompasses all of these, beauty is a beautiful mind, and kind heart, and the ability to see others beyond their imperfections. It is only when we understand that finding beauty with no expectations and love despite imperfections is the moment we will be able find a perfectly imperfect love that will last the ages!

Yesterday I read an NPR article on Stephen Hawking. The article dives into his relationships, and how he is often misunderstood for the love he portrayed in his early years, versus his hard unforgiving stereotype he has today. At the end of the article the author wrote this one sentence that I think speaks volumes so I will end with it:

It’s important that even an exemplary, heroic life can still be messed up, ferocious, flawed, and broken — but not so broken that it isn’t beautiful.

~Robert Krulwich

Slow and steady wins the race! (Or at least makes one finish)

Today was the day! I have never really been one for moderation! So I hit the floor running, well after wallowing in the coziness of my bed for an hour! I decided breakfast would be a smoothie this morning! I added pineapple, mango, and spinach and the supplement that I use! Mixed it all together and took a long swig only to remember the supplement had curcumin in it and it is hard to hide that taste! It was all I could do to force myself to swallow! Now normally gag is not a problem for me but I could feel it heading in an upward way! Finally I got it down and doctored my smoothie with a few more fruits, and the rest of breakfast was uneventful. My plans for the day were to rest with the kids and run to figure out roughly how slow I would be on a 6 mile run. Here is why! I decided a few weeks ago that I needed a challenge so I signed up for a 6 mile trail race along the eastern continental divide, it so happens to be the final for the US trail association. After I signed up I watched a video of the trail and Was like well fudge 😉 I may die! Anywhoo, long story short I am runing said race in a week, and I needed to know how long it takes so I could have someone send a search party if I don’t cross the finish line in my average time! So back to today and running. I was gonna run this evening when my friend messaged and wanted to meet at the park for a run, and so I went for a “quick” three miles with my oldest two in tow! My oldest out ran us like a show off and my daughter complained the whole time about running and the weather so it made for an entertaining run, and broke up the monotony! We finished and I still felt determined so I ran again tonight! Six miles, let me say it again! I ran 6 miles tonight and I didn’t fall apart. I did run slower than a heard of turtles, but I finished! So 9 miles for the day! Go big or go home (this was big for me) now I am laying on the couch in compression sleeves wondering what the heck I was thinking! Tomorrow I hope I can walk with only a mild limp instead of looking like an overgrown toddler that is just learning to walk! My final thoughts…It is an all or nothing world so you should never doing anything half assed…Also Motrin is my friend!

Today is D day!

Well today is the day, or the last day before the start of a new day. I have challenged myself to lose 50 lbs by the new year. I am basically tired of being fat and tired! I have long blamed it on baby weight or personal issues, but truly the problem is with me! I love food, and I am mentally weak!  Don’t get me wrong I love fresh fruit and veggies, however I would much rather the food fairy come down and prep them for me to eat and leave them in prepackaged meals and snacks! The second problem I have is exhaustion (from my glorious fatness and school and work). I find excuses to eat bad or drink massive amounts of caffeine. A little revelation, when I study for tests I could easily go through two 20 oz sodas a night! So this is it, this is different. I want to be fit for my kids! I don’t want them to see me do the opposite if what I tell them! I want my babies to see mom is healthy! Sure I run and I run a decent amount,  15 miles plus a week consistently when I run, but I out eat the running. I have a goal to do a long distance race, a goal that has been engrained in my head since my days at GWU! I even given thought to triathlons, just small ones, but I want to run far without feeling my fat body jiggle! I also have a goal to run without a shirt ( no worries, sports bras are a must with the girls that are on my chest!)  I want to run! I want to fight the familial diseases such as heart disease and diabetes that have long lineage in my family! Lastly and for the most superficial reason I want to run to turn heads, and not for the wrong reasons that I get now! The kinds such as : look at the fat girl go, or wow you do a good job for a big girl! I want the look at her go, and look at how she transformed he body! That is the part I am doing for me! The selfish Carrie! So tomorrow is D day, and the day the healthy eating begins and the more focused regimen begins! Be skeptical if you must! Tomorrow is the day!